51 and counting :)

Almost half way there! I've officially hit 51 lbs and I'm definitely starting to feel better about myself. Some pictures I still look at and want to rip them up and some, I say "Wow, I look hot!". Things are definitely looking up.
I am definitely noticing that there are some foods that I miss! And I MEAN miss! LOL

I feel as if I could easily rip through the dozens of cookies I made for the holidays. I've recently allowed myself 1 per day just to give myself a limit. Tomorrow, they will be out of the house for good, as I will have my husband take them to work with him!

I can refrain myself from mostly anything though. But my weaknesses, I just can't keep in the house.

I miss being able to fill myself with loads of unhealthy foods, but I DO NOT miss the weight gain that comes with it.

Getting on the scale at home has become less often lately. It's almost as if I KNOW I am eating healthy and not overeating, so I don't need the #s as much to show me.

Lately, depending on the day, I sometimes have trouble getting down chicken or other meats that aren't soaked in some type of sauce. Oh the pain!!! It's like a stab in the chest that halts my breathing and all! I have yet to get 'sick' from eating something and I don't plan on ever having that happen.

I have to get out and exercise. That has been my downfall. With 4 kids, who has time for that?! I know, I know...I should make the time. Excuses, excuses! LOL

The Scale says Less, My Mind Says no!

I feel miserable about myself. I have lost about 40-42 lbs so far and I feel like a cow. It's almost as if my mirror lies to me. I look in the mirror, and say "wow, I look great". Then a picture is taken and OMFG I'm a cow! Is there some sort of mental block when people look at themselves in a mirror? Nothing fits right. It's either too big to the pt I can't wear it or it just doesn't fit right all together. My stomach is a mess. I'm definitely going to need a tuck after all this. I feel like a bowl of Jello Jigglers.

All together, I have lost 42 1/2 inches. Together meaning, both arms, thighs, waist, hips, abdomen and neck.

The doctor asked me to speak at his seminar about the Lapband which is great but now I doubt whether or not I should speak. Physically, I'm a great candidate to talk about it. I healed wonderfully, no problems etc. But mentally, I don't feel any thinner.

I know you're probably thinking "No, you're not". But I feel that way. I just haven't adjusted mentally to losing the weight. I know it takes time and I know so far, so good, but until I'm down to the "acceptable" weight, I'm a cow.

StandStills Suck!

So, I'm at a standstill. :( I am now 6weeks post op and have lost 38lbs. Yes, it's great. Yes, I feel great. But, it is a bit depressing that even though I am still working just as hard at it, I have not gotten smaller. I'm waiting to hear back from my nutritionist. Hopefully this standstill won't last forever!
Here's a pic taken today!

31 down and STILL going strong!

Down 31 lbs and still feeling great! There are times that I have sat back and said "what the heck did I do" when it comes to eating what I want, when I want. But on those days, I get on the scale and say "that's why I did it"! My kids asked me why I had a scale in the bathroom now, so I told them that I am losing weight. Both of their responses were "that means you can run with us again". It surely touched my heart. Not only am I doing this for myself, but for my children. I want to be there to watch them grow, and if I can keep myself as healthy as possible, then that's one of my goals in life!

Even though I'm down 31 in ONLY 4 weeks, I still have definite sadness in how heavy I still am. I know it will take time and for most people who have been overweight most of their life, even when they become 'thin', they will always feel fat. I'm SO determined to get to my goal! I have another 100lbs to lose and if I lose more, than great. I want to look good in clothing, feel good in it and most of all, not feel like a cow anymore!!! Go Me!!!

My Stomach FINALLY had it's Orgasm! LOL

Tonight I ate! For the first time in 3 VERYYY long weeks, I had something I could actually chew on! I originally wasn't supposed to eat until tomorrow, but I figured, what's the difference between tonight and tomorrow morning. So, when I made the kids dinner, I made sloppy joes. I was feeding the babies and they were not thrilled with it(prob cause the spices), so I decided it was time. I took half of a baby spoon full, chewed it until it was mush, and swallowed. I think I actually heard my stomach say Woohoooo! LOL I can't wait for breakfast tomorrow. It's so exciting! I'm down about 26 lbs according to my scale!

I decided instead of people having to scroll to the bottom to see the before pics and the now pics, that I would post them side by side now. Here ya go!

Feeling blah!

These pics were taken 10/5. I don't feel as if I look any different than last week. I haven't gotten on the scale because I think I was becoming a little obsessed. I'm extremely tired. Probably lack of protein, but that stuff is just flat out nasty. LOL

7 days til I can actually eat something! Woohoo! I go to the doctor in 2 weeks. Can I keep myself off the scale til then???

A Small Difference

These pics were taking on 9/29. I'm down 16lbs as of Monday night. People who haven't seen me in a few weeks have said they can see a difference. And that includes people that normally don't give compliments.

Today I'm not feeling so hot. I lifted one of the babies and it didn't bother me at the time, but I must have strained myself. Now, I'm just as sore as when I came home from the hospital. Very achey. I don't plan on doing that again.

I definitely have been wanting to eat. Not that I'm hungry...it's all psychological. I would love to have pizza, and potatoes and anything else I can shove into my mouth. But I have worked so hard at these 16lbs and I didn't go through surgery for nothing. So, I suck it up as I hit the drive-thru at Wendy's for the kids, or get them a slice of pizza. I want to cry as I smell the aroma of deliciousness. Then I remember how I'm down a whole pants size. I get over it...until next time LOL.

Here's a new pic. Same shirt as my "before" pic. What do you think?

Still on Clear Fluids

Today I realized that I shouldn't go shopping where there's food. I went to Walmart with my mom and my daughter. Of course, as soon as you walk in, there's a nice smelling Subway restaurant inside. OMG the smell of that and imagining my favorite sandwich of turkey, ham and swiss with lettuce, tomato, oil and vinegar lingered in my mind. We went there for stamping crafts. Yet everytime we passed a food I love, the thought of the taste made me soo hungry, even though I'm not. I know...it doesn't make much sense.
I was very dizzy early in the day, but as the day went on, the dizziness suppressed itself. It comes here and there, but mostly, I'm just tired. I should nap during the day while my husband is home, but I don't. Then, by the end of the day, I'm so exhausted!
The incisions are healing wonderfully. They do itch a little here and there from scabbing, which is normal.
My clothing isn't big yet but it is a little looser than before. I'm down 14 lbs!!! Only 6 days since I was banded and almost a whole pant size less! Woohoo!

A "So-So" Day

Today was rough. I woke up nauseas and dizzy. By 11am, I decided to go to the dr. My blood pressure is 90/70 which is quite low for me. They did some bloodwork and are keeping an eye on how I feel.
Other than that, no pain still in the stomach area. I am definitely able to drink more fluids at this point.
I can feel the band there behind my breast bone. It sometimes has a "spasm", I guess you could call it. It comes and goes. The dr said it's normal because of all the healing going on.
I have been having cravings, two inparticular. Pizza and salad. LOL. A few more weeks and then atleast I'll eat the cheese off the pizza and pitch the crust. My son asked me how many more days until I can eat. 17 days. I'm sure it will go faster than I think. But right now, I'm at a great place of losing about 2 lbs a day! Go Me!

I must say that I am very grateful that I have a wonderful husband who has been ultra-supportive of me. He will tell you he makes my meals, but he really means he mixes the protein powder with milk. LOL He's a great guy and I'm so lucky to have him by my side!
Well, it's late and I'm exhausted!!! Gnight all!

First post-op appointment

Today was my first post-op appointment. I was soo excited. It was to take the tape off, but all I cared about was getting on that scale. I must say that I have NEVER been excited to get on a scale until now! Of course, today was the only day that the dr was running behind, so we waited anxiously in the waiting room for over an hour! It has never been a wait there, so murphy's law...the day I want to go in faster, we didn't.

So I get on the scale, and OMG...8lbs off ALREADY! It's only been 4 days....yes....4 days! Woohooo! Yippeeeee! Bouyaaaa! I was jumping up and down like a school girl. LOL

I have another 2 1/2 weeks of clear liquids and I'm totally cool with that. I feel great.

I do have some discomfort once in a while, almost like a heartburn pain. The band is actually under the breastbone, and the discomfort twinges are from the tissue forming around the band to protect it.

Other than that, no complaints. (knock on wood)

I found a decent protein drink. It has 27grams per serving. You just mix 1/3 cup of the powder with 6oz of water or skim plus milk(I like the milk better). It's called EAS Premium Protein. I got the chocolate one. It's not something I gag on, so I consider it good. It was purchased at Costco in a HUGE bag for only $30.

I find it kinda funny because now that I have done it, friends and family are like "wow..I'm going to do that too". It's comical that I was like their guinea pig. I don't mind though. It just means my friends and family will be healthier too.

Here's a pic of my incisions...not too shabby. There's one small incision that's not in the pic, so there were 5 all together.

Post-op pictures

Here are two pictures of what my incisions look like. At the moment, there is tape over each incision site.

A New Beginning

About four years ago, I looked into bariatric surgery due to being overweight. Once I found out my insurance wouldn't cover it, I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. Between getting pregnant again and being depressed from the battle of the buldge, I gained even more weight. I am at my heaviest ever! A whopping 286lbs!

I found out that as of January 2008, my insurance company will pay 50% of the allowable amount, which leaves me with a $700 bill. Not too shabby if I say so myself! So, I went back to the dr I saw 4 years ago. My insurance company had a criteria to be met before the surgery. I had to have 3 consecutive months of dr visits, and even if I went one day past a month, I would have to start the process over. I also had to get a psych evaluation(we all know I'm crazy) LOL and a nutritional consult. My 3months of doctor appts ended on September 4, 2008. On Monday, September 8th, I received a call from the doctors office that my insurance approved the surgery for the lapband. Woohoo!

From there, I had to get bloodwork, cardiac testing, etc to prepare myself for the general anesthesia.

Starting Sunday, September 21st I had to be on clear fluids only. I also took my "fat" pictures and used curling ribbon to take measurements of my stomach, hips, rear, thighs, arms and neck.

On September 22, 2008, Jeff and I pulled up to the access center at 545am. My surgery was set for 730am. They brought me to my room. This is when the nervousness set in. It wasn't horrible though. Just a little bit. At about 7am, I was brought down to the pre-op waiting room. I met my anesthesiologist(the Chief of Anesthesia) and the OR nurse that would be attending my surgery. My doctor was a few minutes late so he greeted me at 750am. My surgery started at 8am, and I was in recovery by 845am, where I stayed for an hour. I was a little nauseas, but nothing extreme. I have never done well with pain killers, so I was given a light dose of Teradol, which is a form of motrin that can be put through the IV. At about 945am, I was brought to my room where I got to see Jeff. I remember mumbling to the recovery nurse that I couldn't wait to see him!

After sleeping off the anesthesia, I went down to Xray. They did a test where I had to swallow, literally a sip, of barium as the radiologist watched it go through my system. It's to make sure I can get fluids down without having any problems. I did great which meant I could go back to my room for some diet iced tea and other fluids. At 230pm, I took some tylenol, which was the first meds I had taken since the surgery. At 3pm, I got to go home!

I definitely didn't expect to go home that same day. I thought I would have had problems with the anesthesia. I was perfectly fine.

So, day 1, clear fluids only.

By Tuesday, I was able to start my protein shakes. They also aren't as bad as I thought they would be. It's definitely not something I would have been drinking without having surgery, but it's for my health and that is what's most important these days.

Tuesday was worse than my actual surgery. The gas they pump into you during the surgery tightens the chest, etc. And the intubation makes the throat sore. I was supposed to be drinking 4oz every hour, which was impossible. I couldn't take in more than 2oz every hour without feeling full.

Today, Wednesday, I am feeling much better. I haven't taken any tylenol or motrin since yesterday. My ears feel a little clogged which is making me slightly dizzy. My incisions have no pain whatsoever! I feel great!

I'm now drinking my protein shakes like a champ. And getting in some soup in between. I can have that, sugar free jello, sugar free ice pops, etc. But the sugar free things have such a nasty aftertaste, so I'll stick with the soups.

I also now own a scale for the first time ever! I never had purchased one before because it was so depressing watching the numbers get bigger. But now, with confidence, I watch the numbers get smaller. I'm very excited that in the next few weeks, I am going to be able to throw out the clothing I am in now. Ones that I will NEVER be big enough to fit in again!